This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
