So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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