Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize