gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
