dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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