the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
