They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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