I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
