I think im going to throw up on grandma
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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