i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
