Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
