Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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