her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
