My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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