Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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