Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
