I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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