So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
