Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
