Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
