I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
