Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
