Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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