Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
