...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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