Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize