quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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