New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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