dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize