I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
