I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
