sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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