At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
