i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
