Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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