Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
