I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
