Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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