Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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