we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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