In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
