party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize