so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
