The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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