She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
