Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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