Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
