The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
