We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
