Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
