made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize