if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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