I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
