my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
