Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize