i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
