Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
