Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
