I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
