whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
