why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's just like the Real World with babies
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
