Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
