Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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