Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
