i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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