Pappa wants mamma naked
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
