tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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