6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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