I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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