Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize