her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
