honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
