Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
