with your own penis?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
