my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
