Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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